5 things the philospher learnt about Heathrow Terminal 5

Nice piece from philosopher Alain de Botton in today's Guardian about the things he learnt while being writer-in-residence at London Heathrow airport.

I particularly liked point #2



2 There's a British Airways check-in employee at Terminal 5 who, if you manage to be especially rude to her, will pretend that her machine has suddenly designated you for an upgrade. Then, just as she observes your scowl turn into a deferential smile, she will take a second look at her screen, sigh empathetically and announce that sadly the system has mysterious changed its mind and there won't be an upgrade after all. "That's a lesson that normally lasts a lifetime," she reckons.

Terminal failure

The eagerly anticipated launch of Terminal five (T5) at London Heathrow couldn't have been worse. Flights to Manchester, Paris, Brussels, Newcastle and Edinburgh were among those cancelled. As the Leader in the Guardian of London observed, "it would be no bad thing if they never resumed. The world's most overworked airport has become a bloated catastrophe, a transit point for travellers who could be carried more efficiently and environmentally by other routes. The chaos of the last few days has been awful for passengers and fairly humiliating for Britain, but it might in the end do some good if it leads to a rethink of endless airport expansion in a country where transport policy appears to be dictated by the needs of Fortress Heathrow."

Little more than a glorified shopping mall

The Guardian has had a sneak preview of the retail space of Heathrow's shiny-shiny T5.

According to the newspaper, passengers will be able to dine at Gordon Ramsay's first airport restaurant - for which he is boldly aiming for a Michelin star - while there is a "footballers' wives' dream" of a shopping avenue where the first Prada in a European airport rubs shoulders with Paul Smith, Gucci, Tiffany & Co, Mulberry and Christian Dior.

When the shopping gets tiring, refreshment beckons: on a corner site is Gordon Ramsay's Plane Food, offering a "time-guaranteed" menu to ensure passengers will not be late for their flight. The Wagamama restaurant is also another airport first, but, breaking with tradition, there will be no McDonald's in the "grab and go" section. Upmarket stores are clustered together for the convenience of the big spenders. "There is Paul Smith - with "virtual" garden views through French windows - Prada, Mulberry, Gucci and luxury stationers Smythson. Leather-covered seats in the public areas are designed by Foster + Partners and, airport authorities claim, there are 9,000 of them."

Time for a new airport for London?

Honestly, Lord Foster's shiny new T5 has yet to opened to the public and already people are sniping that Heathrow is too small. The leader/editorial in today's [London] Times calls for a new aiport to be built out in the Thames Estuary.

"Most countries have built new airports well away from the cities they serve. Heathrow, the world’s busiest international airport, grew out of an old RAF fighter station, not careful planning." There is, it opines, a simple and affordable solution: "A new airport could be built on artificial islands in the Thames estuary, away from the overcrowded city but close enough to be served by fast transport links." Airport nuts will say we've heard it all before. A Thames Estuary airport was planned from the 1960's onwards, but shelved in the 1970s, by the Tories.